Episode 2 – Terry Brazier

Michael: My name is Michael Coates. I am a former fire fighter but I am also a former soldier. It is the
stories from the individuals within this military community that I am desperate to document. Our next
guest is a former Paratrooper. His experience is enduring and after Afghanistan a shocking brutal yet
remains uplifting. He is a husband a dad and a world champion mixed martial artist. Sometimes the
hardest fights are on the battlefield or in the cage. Sometimes they are within ourselves. Episode 2,
Terry Brazier, this is declassified.

Michael: Terry it is an absolute privilege having you here especially as it is only a few days before your
second your world title fight. How are you?

Terry: I am good. Feeling good. Prepared for my fight cutting weight at the moment looking skinny
and full of water.

Michael: How is it feeling through?

Terry: Not too bad obviously it is my second world title. So it is Super exciting. First time cutting
down to 70 kilos. Probably it’s the first time I’ve been 70 kilos since12 years old. I like a challenge.

Michael: We are probably going to start and finish there but before that you mentioned about being 12
years old. I want to take you right back to your childhood. What was like as Terry Brazier growing up?

Terry: I grew up in that era when probably our parents drinking was a big part of society a lot of time
spent down the pubs and in social clubs and things like that. I grew up in and around that. My dad
was actually an alcoholic and it stayed where he got the choice of family or drink. He realises he is an
alcoholic when he chose drink instead of his family. I grew up in that sort of lifestyle . A rough
childhood nothing down to my mum. Really loved family. My mums’ side of things but obviously the
alcohol on my dad’s side was rough as a kid.

Michael: Chaotic?

Terry: Chaotic really rough. I used to hate him for that but now I have him to thank as it certainly has
toughened me up from years of physical abuse and getting beaten up and having to fight a fully-grown
man when you are 13 years old.

Michael: Was there a lot of violence?

Terry: On Yes. Big time. Violence . alcohol is one of them things but when he is sober nicest man on
the earth, but he is only sober 3 hours a day.

Michael: Where did you grow up ?

Terry : Denham just outside an Uxbridge. A little village everyone used to drink the kids would be
down in the pubs the kids would be down in the pubs at the weekend. That sort of lift style

Michael: Was it an obvious path then to join up?

Terry: No, I got into a lot of trouble. Being in that sort of area we grew up in the pubs and grew up
being around drunk blokes basically.

Michael: Did you have role models around ?

Terry: No. Not Really. My grandad , but I lost him when he was quite young. He was into hunting
shooting being outside so yes that was good. But growing up around that rough lifestyle with my dad
and stuff soon turned to me being a little shit basically and throwing my own weight around. When I
was younger fighting a lot of the older boys and getting into a lot of trouble with the police and stuff like
that in the local area.

Michael: Why did you join up then?

Episode 2 Terry BrazierDeclassified Podcast

Terry: As I grew older the trouble got worse and more serious. I was actually in a lot of trouble . I was
on my way to court one day with my mum and I didn’t think I was going to come back that day. And
my mum made me promise that if I got away with it that I would change my life. And I promised
because I didn’t think I would get away with it to be honest. I probably thought I will see you in a
couple of years. But no, I got away with it that day. I got the train to Wembley Career Office and the
next day I signed up Wayne Sampack got there in the end. He signed me up that day and normally you
have a waiting process for paperwork. He got me in 21 days later. I was in Catterick 20 days later.

Michael: Oh really, Court room to Catterick, 21 days.

Michael : So, are you a man who keeps their promises?

Terry: Yes, for my mum. I lost my mum 4 weeks ago just before my last fight. I had a great
relationship with my mum Because of the crap relationship with my dad it brought me and my mum
really close

Michael: Was she proud of you?

Terry: Yes, couldn’t have made her any prouder. Growing up and the kind of trouble I was in always
the front man she was going to really good or really bad fto jump on the train and join the army she was
over the moon. Obviously worried going on tour and that but she knew it was a better place for me
that the streets.

Michael: Were you clever as a kid ?

Terry: Teachers didn’t know how to treat me. Attention span of a goldfish but anything physical I
would always win everything at school give me a problem and I would save it. In terms of just pen to
paper I was useless.

Michael: It was in Catterick now and basic training for you was . Did you thrive?

Terry: My sister actually sent me a picture of a certificate I got best PT in training I was strong and fit
and steeple chases I dragged people through I was that guy and I really found what I was good at the
army really brought that out of me that is where I thrived. I loved it. I absolutely loved it. Always
commanding in exercise, a really fun place. They had to teach me. At school they didn’t have the
facility I needed to be outdoors I needed to be burning energy and yes.

Michael : Was it the discipline or the routine?

Terry: It was really weird. I had never been disciplined or able to be disciplined because of that sense
you could see what he was doing. You know I had good relationship with my mum she would
discipline me, but it was more where she was a friend relationship, I don’t want you doing that so I
didn’t do it.

So, when I joined the army and they started discipling me it just worked for me I could see what they
were trying to achieve. I can’t be disciplined if I can’t see a good outcome. In the army I could see
what we were trying to achieve and doing what I was told it would make our system work being really
part of something as a family. Being part of that and seeing me by doing what I should be doing
everyone benefits. It just worked with me.

Michael: It’s funny how some kids really get it academically and some kids just want to be out there
with a purpose and the exercise which keeps everything calm.

Terry: I could see myself developing into a man. I joined when I was 20 , 21 and that’s when my mind
was changing, and I could see myself growing as a person and just developing as a man. It really
worked well with me.

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Michael: Do you think you were behind in that development? I joined when I was 16, I thought some of
the corporals actually helped bring me up and developed me in maybe a couple of years.

Terry: I was the other way around. The Sergents I had my Section Commander and he instantly
identified I was a leader and I was quite a boyish and because I was a bit older than the other lads. The
other lads were 16 17 18. I had been and done, seen a lot. Left school early. I was in a lot of trouble.
Some big names in London and things like that I had seen a lot by the time I had joined the army. They
recognised that and put it to good use. If something needed doing it was Brazier sort the boys out.
And it was instantly done .

Michael: Easy life for them as well

Terry: I was setting up like underground boxing clubs and training. It is pretty much like prison. Lets be
honest. Training is like 7 months of prison.

Michael: It is an institution they keep you busy.

Terry: They worked with me and to be honest became quite matey with me and some of them are on
my factbook now and I chat with them before my fights and they send me messages?

Michael : So basic training was finished who did you joined?

Terry: I joined The Irish Guards. Wayne Sandpack was Irish Guards he is from Haines and he knew I
was a local boy and they were based in Windsor at the time so result and I was with someone from
Windsor at the time so the Irish Guards it was.

Michael: Did you find that alright as you were a bit older?

Terry: I settle in within a number of weeks I was running things I just felt good I felt at home it was
good to be part of sorting

Michael: I will take you back to my experience I was big in rugby union did you get into the sport or
was it more soldiering for you.

Terry: I loved it I am steeple chase bin getting everyone in board dragging a log on my own if I had to I
love praise I still do now my main coaches I learned that I work really well with praise and looking back
I really noticed that in the army. I would want to put in more effort the next time got into the whole
fitness side of things. My other mates’ soldiers that I was training with I got right into body building

Michael: I would. A natural progression you wanted to seek something a little bit more.

Terry. So yes, I was in the Irish Guards done the Queen’s birthday parade all the guard duties fid not
feel enough for me at the time, so I worked for P company. Smashed P Company and found a different
breed of soldiers amongst the guys in 3 Para definitely the more soldier I wanted to be a lot more
physical than the Guards the mentality a bit rougher a bit tougher didn’t get in as much trouble for
fighting ( laughing) I found my element in 2008.

Michael: How long was it ? We had a brief conversation yesterday and part of the next section of the
conversation we are going to be talking about some dates and times you explained something to me
yesterday that you do have an illness PTSD and sometime the dates and what not feel a bit jungled.
Can you explain. We are leaping and I am going to come back ?

Terry: Like I explained to you yesterday I learned in the army that I look back at their dates, times
addresses and everything about when they were in the army but for me a lot of it is a blur and I feel like
my brain is trying to work it out and other parts of my life are also like that are similar growing up there
are parts of my life that are missing massively and I just think that is the brains coping mechanism of
trying to cope with it basically sometimes for me it is a difficult to remember.

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Michael: So, we deployed with 3 Para on Op Herrick 13 . Operations Herrick is the code name for the
military operations in Afghanistan at that time the end of 2010. Can you just explain what it was like ?
When you first arrived and the first week ?

Terry: In 2010 , 2011 I had been in The Paras around about a year then we got deployed to Afghan so
yes from training with them and bringing my soldier skills up once we deployed and landed the ground
we were on Camp Bastian for 5 days and from there up until this point we were still buzzing thinking
this was going to be great running around with guns, all smiles and excited really. And then on the day
that we deployed on to the ground in the Chinook I think it was late evening and as we landed, we
started hearing the rounds pinging off the side of the Chinook and we literally landed in a field.

Michael: Where was that?

Terry: It was Nada al nar Helmand province. Landed in a field and pushed us out of the back with a
pallet of supplies and straight into a contact we had to fan out and put all our training straight into
practice and straight into a contact and we had to fight our way back to the nearest compound and
that was to be our home for the next 3 months.

Michael: It sounds at that time we went through a period of 5 years in quite severe fighting in
Afghanistan and you were kind of coming out of the back end, but it was still very fierce. What was
day to day life like ?

Terry: A day to day I think pretty much every day for almost 8 months we were out there it got
extended by a few weeks was pretty much in contact most days even if it was anything from a few
rounds to fighting for 6 to 7 hours a day and it was horrific and those smiles soon disappeared and
young lads pictures of us landing at Camp Bastian looking like we are going on holiday and then 8
months later you are looking at a bunch of men. It was unreal what that much stress can do to the
body and how much it can age you and how much it can dull someone smiles. If you want to put it like
that. It was intense really really intense.

Michael: There is a book about the English Patient. And they talk about the climatization it is not about
the heat cold humidity it is about the senses around you and getting accustomed to around you. Did
you find you became immune?

Terry: There is I sort of feel lied to . We are up until the point of when you land on the ground you are
lied to. Your made to believe it is a lot easier than what it is. You are going to be okay. We have
trained you. There are not enough training soldiers get there is not enough training to go straight into a
war zone like that. We had an exceptional case our tour was rough really. I spoke to guys who got into
two contacts in 6 months. But we had it rough. The area that we took was particularly rough. The
Americans tried taking it and then we got sent in after and it was just like the business the hive right in
the middle and we had to fight our way out basically.

Michael: because you got dropped in?

Terry: Yes, we all got dropped in about 2 kilometres away from each other and our compounds the 3
Para B Company so over the 3 months we sort of all joined up and fought our way out and secured the
area. But it was unreal. Considering the age. I was one of the oldest at 20 21 and the time I got out I
was 23. Some of the lads were like, phew, hadn’t lived hadn’t seen anything.

Michael: These are men that are well trained driven physically well trained ?

Terry: Trained physically but you can’t train mentally for that. I feel like we were lied to in the papers,
the media even in redeployment sections you sit in on the whole day and explaining to you what it was
like out there. It’s just rubbish.

Michael : So, what was it like then? We talk about contacts. I want you to explain and you can be as
graphic or as softer about the approach you take now but I just want you to be honest what it was like

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about some of the fighting you were doing? And give us some experiences and stories from that.

Terry: Like I say sometimes 90% of the time you can’t see the enemy there is a few cracks and bangs
and a bit of kicked up dust and they are in one ditch and you are in another , 200 meters apart. Or they
are in another compound . You do not often see them but there are times one of them on the 23 or 24
birthday, either side of a road we got contacted, so we jumped in a ditch one side of the road and the
road is about 50 meters wide and they were in the ditch on the other side of the road and it was like
second world war we were literally fighting over 50 meters. We were appealing trying to get back to
our compound it was absolute mayhem and it took probably 2 hours to get 600 meters of just pure
fighting in blistering heat all your kit on all your ammunition and you know like you say just young lads
getting told what to do over the radio basically. Looking back now even the Sergants they were
younger than what I am now and to think it is strange to think I even did it that how out of this world it
is. So yes, some of the fire fights were so intense it is unreal that is one of the worst ones for me
personally because it was relentless, sometime the contact goes on over a bit of distance and it is not

Michael: Were you scared?

Terry: A 100% yes.

Michael: While it is going on ?

Terry: The adrenalin takes over same as fighting you are scared stiff , nerves are normal. If you haven’t
got nerves, you are not normal. 100% scared. Because the dust is kicking up right in front of you it is
literally a case of a couple of foot or a couple of inches. Like I said to you yesterday I got pinned down
out there it got extremely close.

Michael: This is a crazy story can you take us back 20 mins before it happened?

Terry: Basically, where our compound was, like I said we got dropped in we secured our compound
and had to work out from that area so at the back of our compound that we took over was what we
turned into our drop zone or our helicopter landing pad and then at the back of that there was other
field and compounds. One day we were out patrolling we got contacted like any other day and getting
straight extremely close I was a GPM Gunner, so I was covering

Michael : So, you had the big kind of machine guns?


Terry: Yes, I had the big guns. I was covering everyone getting behind the compound for cover and
we soon realised they were sharp shooter as they are not trained to be snippers but they are as good
as snippers and this is another thing they are the best soldiers in the world because they are running
around in flip flops they fought the Russians the Americans, the English these guys are good you are in
their backyard in ditiches on the ground wearing next to nothing fighting well equipped soldiers full of
money from all around the world.

I soon realised there were two sharp shooters and then the lads sort of like got cover behind the
compound that I was covering every time they sort of stood out to cover me or to give me covering fire
their compound would get hit and shot and then one sharp shooter trying to hit them and the other one
trying to hit me. I produce about 80% of the sections ire power because I have the machine power, so
they want to hit me and basically, I got pinned down behind a small mound of mud. I am getting
smashed and the dust is getting closer and closer.

Michael: This is Open Ground?

Terry: Yes, I am about 20 meters in front of the compound that my guys are behind undercover, but the
sharp shooters were so far away, but my guys underslung grenade launchers would not reach. They
were just landing midfield or exploding in the air. So, it was just me and the sharp shooters basically.

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Michael: Were the lads behind you communicating to you? And telling you what was going on.

Terry: Yes, we all had helmet cameras as well. So that was a really interesting video to watch so you
could see their view trying to cover me which they couldn’t and then you see mine. Going back to
being nervous . I was giggling not because it was funny but because I was shitting myself basically.
We were returning fire and the contact was going on and my ammunition is getting lower and lower and
then I could feel the rounds how close they were how extremely close they were . It was riculous you
could hear them feel the thump and was not quite sure what it was, and I came to my last belt and I
just thought fucking hell. You can see it in the video it is hilarious. I load my belt I slam it down. I
stand up and give it full Rambo ARRRRRRRRRRRRGHHH and let of my last belt. And fuck it. If you
are going to go you are going to go and it stopped. It literally it stopped. The contact stopped and
shortly after called in an air strike into the area.

Michael: Why did it stop ?

Terry: Well this was it . live spoke to the interpreters it could be a number of things. Likelihood is you
did not hit them. If you could see the video, you would realise I did not hit them. The other one is a
respect thing as they respect crazy stuff like that the warrior thing , someone who is just going to stand
up and have it. Or they ran out of ammunition too. Lots of possibilities. But it was really strange, and I
was surprised to be still stood there. And then I got back behind the compound and then we had to go
back we are all running low on ammunition we had been there ages and we called the air strike in .

On the way back I was trying to drink my water out my camel back holds a water container that holds
4 litres on your back and that was attached on the side of my rucksack with ammunition in it and I was
trying to drink I was thirsty I had been laying in the blistering heat.

Michael: How long?

Terry: A couple of hours probably (laughing). Was trying to drink my water and it would just not work
and I got back, and It had holes in it rounds in it . If you go to the imperial war museum, they have
made a feature out of it my kit and hey have the rounds had gone over my head and hit my bag on my
back two inches down it would have been straight between the eyes. That is how close it gets.

Michael: What was that feeling like ? was it almost comical or serious stuff?

Terry: Black humour it is basically there is so much stuff that happens out there that you have got to
laugh it off when out there its unreal. do you know what I mean as it is just unreal as you get 30 mins
on a satellite phone every week, or every two weeks or whatever it is and you get to phone home and
then you get into contact and you have got to go when you speak to people back home they are
distraught but for us if you are out there a few weeks it becomes normal.

Michael : You are in control but something you are not in control as you were a medic as well?

Terry: I was medic trained we are all medic trained at least one person out of each section

Michael : So that is out of your control so what was you dealing with regards to that?

Terry: So, one of the instances that happened our there which I see as one of the main causes of my
PTSD. I think worst nightmare really gives me the gitters like is basically an IED went off one day. A
big bang, close to our compound so we looked on the cameras basically all the locals were rushing
towards us. 2 kids had just been wandering around near our compound and at the time they were
similar ages to my daughters back home in England . All the lads were running back with one of these
kids the youngest one. So, I have gone back out to this 7-seater people carrier thing so there is
another kid there. So, I pick him up and running. One of them is completely in half. The youngest one.
And the lad I started deal with had a lump out of his head his balls had blown off basically he is in bits
do you know what I mean a real rag. He is screaming. The youngest one was like completely out of it
he was alive his heart was still going but it was like completely out of it. The older one was screaming

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which is the worst.

Michael: The family?

Terry : We don’t know. To be honest, in that situation you are just trying to treat them keep them alive.
We spent a lot of time trying to treat them.

Michael: How old were they?

Terry: One was about 5 and one was about 8 or something like that, young.

Michael: Nightmares?

Terry: Yes, you know what I mean. Basically, we tried treating them keeping them alive as long as
possible with the skills that we knew and then eventually a helicopter took them, and we later found out
they had died. We knew they had died , but you cannot give up. You are not allowed to give up.

Michael: There were kind of 3 sections to this tour. You took a compound and secured it in Nad-e-Ali
in the North. Then you moved out. What did you feel like to the locals?

Terry: You build up a bit. Obviously, we had gone through that you get a bit of emotional connection to
the area to the people. You learned to trust certain people and you recognise faces and that you are
out there for a long time roughly three months in the first place and then we got orders to move on
which is absolutely risciulous and you can imagine the frustration. The hours of blood swat and tera
that had gone into taking this certain area. Kicking people out of their homes and taking over their
compounds just to be told to move on was really annoying.

Michael: Did you feel you had betrayed the people around you on a personal level?

Terry: More so selfishly pissed off. Someone sitting in an office you have done your job move on.
Common sense the fields were rife with pure opium and pure weed and you know snoop dog would be
heaven. I have literally never seen weed like it. It is …

Michael: That’s why this area was?

Terry: I assume so. They really wanted this area just to be told to leave it back to them

Michael : Mate I am going to have to jump us quite a bit and I am sure the book will be released at
some point and the film. You arrive back somewhere in 2011. And things weren’t quite right, and I
want you to take it from there really.

Terry: When I got back there was asks of me to go on selection special forces selection. Up to this
point I felt like a super soldier I gave everything 100% I could smash everything physically in terms of
being a soldier and then I left 3 Para and went back to the Irish Guards . Actually, I got asked to leave
3 Para or it sort of came to the end of my stint with 3 Para got sent back to the Irish Guards they
sussed it out in 3 Para something was not quite right. I was never a problem I was always getting
100% stuck in. I came back with a different attitude. By the time I got to the Irish Guards I was having
a lot of nightmares, I was stressing I was kicking off I was fighting.

Michael: Drinking ?

Terry: We would drink every night to 4 5 in the morning go on an 8 mile run in the morning to sober up
that was just part of our life.

Michael: Just the culture ?

Terry: But a lot of the lads I was with were the exactly the same especially in our section none of us
came back the same and in the January I came to the med centre and I was chatting with a guy for a

Episode 2 Terry BrazierDeclassified Podcast

half hour and I was not allowed to go back to the barracks. And that was it. At that point I realised
something was wrong. Noticing how different I was to before the tour and after. I had lost all sort of
respect for the hierarchy because of the orders we were given in Afghan were just total crap and
obviously the nightmares and stress when I came back, I just did not feel like soldiering anymore.

Michael: Was the alcohol helping?

Terry: No, I don’t really, I would not put a label on that you know what I mean. I did not start hitting the
drink anymore I was just a young lad. Obviously, I was drinking because we had not drunk for 8
months. I was not waking up in the morning and having a can of tenant or anything like that. I
recognise these signs trust me.

Michael: So, transitioning. You are now in a period of – you have kind of lost everything you were
working towards. And you have become disillusioned and you have just spent 8 months in possibly
the most stressful situation anyone could be in there was fighting all the time. But what you explain is
quite typical of a lot of people out there guys and girls and tours just rammed in and now you have to
deal with the aftermath. What was the support mechanism like with the military? How are you being

Terry : This is the problem before I realised I had PTSD if someone man the fuck up what’s wrong with
you but until you have got it and until you suffer with it you don’t realise the implications it has on your
life. I would have been the worst person – man up get on with it . But when it really hit me you noticed,
I was shitting myself down the road. Potholes. You go into a day dream driving you see a pot hole at
the corner of your eyes and you flinch its crazy you know what I mean. It felt like when I went back to
the Irish guards they were in Aldershot every time I went to Aldershot it would get worse. My sensors
would get higher. I would put on my uniform in the morning.

Michael: Who was supporting you through this?

Terry: Being told to ‘Man the Fuck Up’ there was no support. We had a lot of group chat everyone is
alright. And to be honest that is the only trouble with 3 Para you are expected to be rough, be tough
be expected to get on with it. I think the Company Sergeant Major sat on a bench everyone is alright
are you. It was one of them. And especially me being me and being ‘Jack the Lad.’ And being the boy
– I wasn’t going to be to be honest. The weaker lads are not going to admit that in front of the tougher
lads. It was hard.

Michael: I am just summarising this so there is no support? You are not going for regular councelling?

Terry: After I got diagnosed, they sent me to get treatment hand eye coordination treatment the wave a
finger in front of your eye. Well to be honest I could have strangled this geezer and he looked like he
had never been out of an office in his life. So, he did not know how I felt. I had to walk away from it
and try and deal with it on my own and then

Michael: You did try and deal with it on your own eventually you got out. You got medically discharged

Terry: Before I got medically discharged, I got told I was not allowed to go near any army barracks,
and I was told that. I was still paid for a while.

Michael: Who told you that?

Terry: I was told I was not allowed to go to Aldershot I was just left at home basically and at that point I
was just angry because I wanted to be in the army 22 years get it done. Smash it out the way. Go into
the fire service something like that. I had my life carved out in the army because if I was not in the
army. I would end up in a lifestyle locked up or dead. So, when I joined the Army, I had it planned and
set. So, when it all went wrong I fell apart a bit I am not ashamed to say at time fuck this I would rather
be dead and I was in a really bad way and because in my family I am sort of Alpha Male with my family.
I am not going to go to my mum and say mum I feel like I am going to kill myself I felt so on my own.

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There was a bit of embarrassment that I did not want to admit to people I was in this bad position.

Anyways, I walked into a gym in Windsor met my MMA coach and started training I was just this big
angry really strong lump and I signed up for an interclub fight. They said you do know these kinds have
been training I said yes just put my name down. I ended up having an interclub fight but bit more
intense atmosphere in the cage. People watching and that. This guy had been doing it a more Thai
fighter standing kicking and punching got in there and just gave him everything I had. ( Laughing) And
pretty much won the fight. He was hitting me, and I just kept coming forward.

Michael: Was it a release for you?

Terry: Yes, it was a massive release . I loved fighting. I needed to do something physical as I walked
out of the cage Dean turned around and said I can’t teach what you have got. I can’t teach you the
heart so stick around so that is where my MMA career started.

Michael: And that’s where you found your feet the training the focus the one to one getting all of that
which your craved and… again I am just going to jump a little bit. So, you turned pro in 2015 is that
when it started getting serious for you?

Terry: Everything happens for a reason. I was getting paid by the army. Although they were paying
me, and I was not going into work it gave me the time to train MMA and there is no money in MMA. I
am on my second world title. I am still scraping now. There is not a lot of money in it until you get to
the top. My coach was always you can get to the top. My coach knows I like praise I thought they
were just praising me just so I do well, but it is becoming more and more apparent that I can make it to
the top.

Michael: We talk about … and we will come onto it in a second. Was this helping you with the control
mechanism you still have PTSD and with the exercise and that love of that team around you and I know
you have some amazing people supressing you from your wife and you family and that wider family
with the team now. Was that a good control mencanism for you

Terry: 100% I don’t know what I would have done without MMA to be honest being part of that family
that unit that physical toughness there. if I don’t train for a week my wife will literally send me out of the
house and send me to the gym as I need. it sends me nuts. I start getting really stressed anxious and I
can’t watch certain things raound the telly and a military type film it just sets me back 5 years we have
been through some tough times me and my wife. I used to punch her in my sleep, wake scream.

Michael : Can you just go back what do you mean you punched her?

Terry: Oh, I don’t mean I just punched her in my sleep for not cooking my dinner

Michael : nightmares

Terry: I mean I lashed out in my sleep . I would speak up after a rough night after having nightmares
and taking it out on her and just being an arsehole, moody and stressed all day.

Michael: I do you speak to her about being moody

Terry: When I first got back from Afghan, they noticed I tried to show them explain them so and
showed them some of my helmet stuff. And shut it and said don’t ever show anyone that aging doesn’t
ever show anyone again it is that hideous.

Michael: I know you have the MMA but are you going through any therapy?

Terry: No

Michael: Do you think you need it?

Episode 2 Terry BrazierDeclassified Podcast

Terry: Yes after this it will be a tough couple of weeks for me when something is made more apparent
for me a film designates with me a lot or I had a talk but now we are talking about it a rough couple of
nights and be on the front of my mind but no … I sometimes I do feel like I need treatment I have tried
to get hold of the NHS my doctor refer me to someone else then it when I rang my doctor they refer me
to the same person and they don’t know who I was again and by the time I felt like kept chasing; 2 , 3
weeks later I felt okay again. It comes in stints you deal with it and it fades out again.

Michael: In this community the hero gets banded round hero gets banded round I personally think this
is brave you are talking about this I know this will help one person I guarantee this. Trevor Coult who
won the military cross from his time in Afghan he posted a video in social media the other day and
definitely the bravest thing I have ever seen on social media he campaigns tirelessly lives off a war
pension campaigns tirelessly for warfare and said he was so stressed it was like someone came
through the door that he did not want in the room with him. He cried on the video I though fuck that is
brave and it is what I am going to go into next it is part of post traumatic growth. He understands and
appreciates he has developed because of it and he still has to help someone else even though he is in
it. I think it is great your story and again this could be a 5hour podcast but your growth what are you
seeing from the positive, there must be positives from this. You have mentioned a few already. But
what are you seeing now where you can actually take experiences – how are you growing because of

Terry: Everyone has something in their life that pushes them in a certain direction you know or makes
them grow in a certain way. For me personally it has made me tough I have had to be tough I had to
be durable and it has put me for me personally obviously it shaped my fighting career and I go into an
MMA fight with not a worry in the world I am not getting shot I am not getting blown up I don’t need to
worry about any of my friends getting injured I am just going in there doing what I love to do and it has
made me mentally strong in that aspect. In other aspects I feel mentally weak where I can’t control my
emotions sometimes, I can’t control myself my conscious I can’t happen what controls my sleep

Michael: But you have done strong stuff

Terry : But in terms of other aspects of life which a normal person would find tough I find it so easy it
puts things into perspective.

Michael : You are cutting loads of weight now and I know your body is going through a lot of stress,
but you are not crouched down behind a mountain in the middle of Afghanistan being shot at. If I was
one of your opponent’s now and we have not gone into the MMA so much if I was someone who was
fighting you, I would be like I can’t take this guy anywhere. Where can I take this guy?

Terry: You need to realise this guy will not give up you have to kill him, and this is not going to happen.
I have had a lot of close calls in Afghan and that.

Michael: The time with the kids is now all about fun. Mate we are going to have to wrap it up. You
have your fight in York Hall and that is your lightweight title.

Terry: That’s my second world title so yes, we are on the up and watch out.

Michael : I know you are supported by Veteran Owned companies and I think it is really important that
the community do get together and it is thriving at the moment. People are collectively helping.

Terry: You know what I am always on my social media if anyone wants a chat I am here to help so if
you are going through what I am going through or been through then get in touch and have a chat.

Michael: Let’s leave it there.